I had a lot of time to think about my life over the holiday break. Things I want to do. Things I need to do. Things I want to accomplish. I reprioritized my life, basically. Rather, learn how to prioritize. I’m only now living my life – really living it – that I want to do so many things this year. I was so inspired by the people I share my journey with. I felt so alive, so filled with life, that I feel unstoppable. I wrote down a few goals I set for myself for 2016. I’d add more if I have more lightbulb moments.
- Start a website/blog for mental health awareness in the country. What I’ve envisioned – for the time being, at least – is a Humans of New York type site. I’d post black and white portraits of people who suffer from various mental health illnesses and they’d share their stories of survival. There are a lot of people out there who needs to be heard, who needs to be understood. I hope that the site would be the vehicle they could use to let the world see them for who they are, broken but beautiful.
- I aim to finish the photo project I started last year, Those Who Dared. It’s a portraits series of my favorite musicians in the country. I kinda hit pause on it when my depression hit an all-time low this year. It was on hold even before my music photography break late October of last year. I’m halfway done, I think.
- Another photo project I’ve wanted to work on is the concept shoot I’ve wanted to do since I started writing Are You There early last year. I wanted to bring the characters and scenes to (still) life.
- I also want to finish the stories / novels I’ve written. Some of them have been around since 2008: “The Animal Years,” which I got to work on last year, and “Into Silence.” Some are from last year, like the continuation to “Are You There” titled “The List.” I’ve got to end those already since I’ve got a new story in mind. It’s one that I’m very excited to write!
- More photoshoots! I want to learn! I want to experience! I want to do the shit I’ve conceptualized since I picked up a camera again! I want to do more band photoshoots!
- More Street Photography! It’s one of the fields in photography that I want to be good at. Night Street Photography, in particular! I got myself a monopod just for that! Well, that and for music (gig) photography.
- I want my photos to be exhibited! It’s sort of egocentric and the photography equivalent of masturbation, I’m aware. But ugh…I just want to put my work out there. I want other people to catch a glimpse of how see how I see things. It’s like releasing a record, I believe. That might even happen this year. No, not an album release! The exhibit. I was asked last year if I was interested in getting my work exhibited. The guy who asked is thinking of putting up one. I said yes, of course!
- To be published (again)! It actually already happened two days before 2015 ended. A photo I shot of Fools & Foes from their EP launch was used on a feature on them on the Manila Standard. It’s not my best work, to be honest, but hey, it got published! With my name and everything! I think some of the photos from the launch will also be published on an upcoming issue of Pulp Magazine. Now, the reason I want to be published again is that I wasn’t in a photographer mindset that night. I was in fan-mode. Yeah, yeah, I’m nitpicking.
- I want to have my favorite photos from 2015 on a photobook! Even just a copy for me! Does anyone know anyone who makes photobooks?
- To DO SPOKEN WORD! My God…that’s been one of my (subconscious) ultimate dreams in life. It’s no secret that I once dreaded being in front of people. I only managed to get my ass up on a stage cos I don’t stutter when I sing! What more if I’m only speaking! But, yeah, I gotta do that. I have to do that. I need to see how far I can go. I need to feel what it’s like when I’m on that last word and that period at the end.
That’s pretty much what I have in mind so far. There’s a lot, I’m sure. It’s only now that I’m taking back my life from depression so I gotta live it up! I’m 31 and have barely any accomplishments in life! Let’s do this!