I am sick.

Clinical depression is a sickness. It’s an illness of the brain. It’s an ailment of the mind.

I am sick.

Depression isn’t just a state of mind. It’s not like I once said “Hey, this depression thing seems cool! Let me try it out!” I didn’t waste years of my life because I wanted to.

I am sick.

It’s not because I’m a stutterer. I am not a stutterer because I am depressed. I am not depressed because I am a stutterer. Those are two different things.

I am sick.

What I have can’t be fixed by a strong will like most people. I can’t use the force to fix my brain.

I am sick.

Why can’t we accept that it’s alright for our friends and family to be sick? What we have isn’t terminal.

I am sick.

I am a handicap. I am disabled. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Do you think there’s something wrong with those who are blind?

I am sick.

Even though you can’t see my illness, it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t exist. Why do we hold what we can see in higher regard? What’s tangible and what’s invisible are of equal importance.

I am sick.

The outdated view of mental illness should be updated. Mental illness isn’t just about talking to trees and hallucinations. It’s not just about growing your body hair long to protect yourself from ghosts. It’s not just about an extreme belief that the end is nigh. It’s not just about going on a killing spree because a deity commanded you to. It’s not just about plastering tin foil on your walls so no one can listen in on your conversations. It’s not just about hopping on one leg because you think that’s the only thing that makes sense in the world.

It’s also about intense mood swings. It’s also about feeling nothing and everything at the same time. It’s also about an overwhelming sense of dread that comes out of nowhere. It’s also about not wanting to get out of bed for fear of an imaginary reprisal. It’s also about not wanting to live, but not wanting to die. It’s also about being on the end of your rope. It’s also about self-destruction, self-sabotage, because of a thousand different fears of both logical and illogical origin. It’s also about the pinpricks your whole body feels when you find yourself in an uncomfortable situation. It’s also about wanting to be extremely isolated from people, yet you’re the first to call them. It’s also about walking out of a bar when your favorite band is playing your favorite song because you want to scream and cry and go home and to curl up in your bed. It’s about knowing that you’re sick. It’s about admitting that you’re sick. It’s about accepting that you’re sick.

I am sick. I know that I am sick. I admit that I am sick. I accept that I am sick. I also accept that I can be better. I also admit that I will be better. I also know that I won’t be sick forever.

I hope you know that. I hope you can admit that. I hope you can accept that.

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