Random Thoughts / Updates

Random Thoughts / Updates:

  • Being in a relationship in a “normal” state is difficult. I’m handling it. I’m learning. I’m also learning a lot from the relationships of others.
  • I finally had my portfolio photos printed. I’m actually not sure how many of the photos should be there, but I just filled the pages of the portfolio clearbook that I bought. I was looking at them again earlier and I realized just how amazing it really is having your photos printed compared to just looking at them on a computer or a phone, especially in that big a size. It’s tangible. Looking at them earlier transported me back to when I shot them. I never had that experience when I looked at my photos on my laptop or mobile phone. I remembered the weather, what I was feeling, what happened that day, everything. Felt good.
  • I attempted to write an entry last week about me having anxiety attacks because I could barely write anymore, whether it’s fiction or blog entries. I got an anxiety attack while I was writing that. Had to stop. Ironic.
  • I feel like some dreams of mine are close to slipping away. Like I’m just waiting for the final nail on the coffin. It’s still a dream of mine to be a novelist and a writer. It’s still a dream of mine to be a singer/songwriter. Both dreams require me to write. I cannot, for the life of me, write anymore. The thoughts are there, the ideas are there, but I can’t seem to write them down. And it’s been killing me.
  • I was selling a dozen prints at a gig recently and a friend, who buys my prints at a premium price, shared to another friend that he was saddened at how low I was selling those prints for. I learned a lot from him in terms of selling photo prints as art. It is art. As pretentious as it sounds, I consider my photos as art. In all honesty, I do want to sell my prints at how I feel they’re priced at. It’s not really about the price, really. It’s about the photo’s value. It’s about the story behind the photo. It’s about the emotions, both mine and the subject’s, behind the photo. I’m not a master of music photography, nor am I an institution at it. But I am a master of what I do. If I sell my art really cheap, I devalue my worth. I devalue myself and my passion and my art. Here’s the thing, though – the usual gig goers don’t have that much expendable cash for “high value” art. Most of them are college students or newly-minted workers. I do have to account for those factors in my prints. That’s something that I learned when I sold prints during the Bandwagon Music Market, hence the reason for printing the latest batch using 4R sized standard glossy photo papers instead of my usual detailed and signed 5R RC gloss photo paper.
  • Speaking of Bandwagon Music Market…I was one of the merchants at that mini music festival. It was a fun learning experience. I shared a table and sold prints alongside two of my favorite music photographers in the Metro – Cecilia Forbes and Karen dela Fuente. I initially felt disheartened when I had to lower my prices because no one was buying them. I even had to do an “everything must go” sale at P100, and even then only a handful bought. But I did learn so much about the business end of selling prints. And I did get to enjoy and be around two of photographers that I look up to.
  • I bought a printer recently because my old usual printing place was so fucking inconsistent, in both photo quality and paper quality. I also wanted to have more control over the output. Set me back 10 large. Ink is fucking expensive. It’s been more boon than bane because I was stressing over the fact that I may have had expectations that by selling at least ten prints at a price that I don’t have to compromise at, what comes out of the printer would justify the cost. But as I lamented, there’s not a lot of people who would buy prints at a premium. It’s not that big a setback as I did learn so much from recent experiences. Know your audience. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket. Print photos depending on where you’ll sell them. I might even start a small printing business for my photographer friends to offset the cost.

All will be good. All is good.

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