I’ve been doing Active Imagination on myself. I’ve done four trips into my unconscious, so far. And all were enlightening. The more I do it, the more I learn about the inner workings of my psyche. I do have to exercise caution as there exists the possibility that my psyche would shatter in these journeys. It is unguided, after all. Last thing I’d want to happen is that I’ll be stuck in my thoughts.
Here’s what I came up with in those times I did Active Imagination:
January 9, 2020
– missing arm isn’t missing anymore. It now exists. And I’ve posited that it symbolizes stability. The statue of Janus now has balance.
– janus is symbolic of my psyche / mental health.
– the then blank face behind the head now has a mouth. Symbolic of my assertiveness. I’m much more assertive now of my needs.
– painting is reminiscent of Juan Luna’s “Spoliarium,” with the bloodied, beaten, and bruised body of Jesus being dragged by two men towards the towards safety of a crowd. The “Jesus” possibly symbolizes peace. A still fragile inner peace.
– I’m watching this symbol of a still broken inner peace being taken to the safety of people. Perhaps my acceptance of other people’s help.
January 20, 2020
– 1st room, I feel nothing as I stand before it. What’s inside is unknown, or it’s empty.
– 2nd room, stood before the door. Contains the crimes i wish to do. The crimes I can only dream of / imagine doing.
– 3rd room, the crimes I’ve done to myself and others. The sins I’ve committed.
– 4th room, mother’s room.
January 20, 2020
– 1st room contains my happy memories bound in books. Massive room, high ceilings with book shelves spanning the ceiling. It’s a room not dissimilar to my mother’s room. I feel safe and secure inside this room, however. There’s a fireplace instead of the vault in my mother’s room. Dark green Victorian era leather chair.
- Janus statue now has a nose. I don’t know what that means.
January 28, 2020
- Janus statue now has eyes. Perhaps symbolic of what I now can see / what I stopped repressing – my talent for observance and deduction.
- 3rd room, the room with all my previous sins (my suicides, etc.) The room is like a library, but with film rolls instead of books. There’s a projector in one corner that replays my greatest hits/sins. I felt a presence in the room. Zero was inside when I went in. He seemed happy to see me. He was smiling, grinning, as he approached me. We watched a couple of my suicides for a while. I decided to set him free by merging with him in that room.
- I ended that session with that. To prolong the stay in the unconscious would be unwise.