Walking Towards Uncertainty

I’m at the point again wherein my mood is way down and the reason is unknown to me. I have my suspicions, but it’s hard to properly discern the culprits as my emotions and thoughts are limited by the medications I’m on. That is, assuming, that the medications are the ones that prevents me from feeling. One reason could be is that I’m, once again, in denial.

 

There is a wall between me and my emotions once again. Be it denial or the medications, I can’t seem to figure out what I’m feeling, aside from being melancholic.

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Fave Film Photos Pt. 2

I’ve shot sixty-six rolls of film. I’ve used five cameras (only have one now, an Olympus 35SP.) I’ve wasted films, I’ve maximized films – but I’m still learning. Still learning to master film photography. If I can. I’m bound to make more mistakes along the way, but there will definitely be room for improvement and growth.

My current camera:

photo_2018-03-04_09-12-14

 

For the gear hounds out there, here’s a list of specifics…

Cameras I’ve used:

  1. Seagull Reflex DF + Haiou-64 58mm
  2. Olympus 35DC
  3. Primoflex Twin Lens Reflex
  4. Pentax Espio 115M (didn’t include the photos from that camera….maybe on another post?)
  5. Canon FTb (with FL 50mm 1.8 and FD 28mm 2.8)

 

Films I’ve used:

  1. Ilford HP5+
  2. Ilford Delta 100
  3. Ilford Delta 400
  4. Ilford Delta 3200
  5. Ilford FP4
  6. Kodak Tri-X 400
  7. Kodak T-Max 400
  8. Kodak T-Max 100 (expired)
  9. Eastman Double X
  10. Rollei RPX 400
  11. Agfa APX 400 (expired)
  12. Fujifilm Neopan 400 (expired)
  13. Fujifilm Neopan 1600 (expired)
  14. Efke KB 100 (expired)
  15. Fujifilm Acros 100
  16. Agfa Vista Plus 400
  17. Fujicolor C200
  18. Fuji Superia X-Tra 400
  19. Fujifilm Natura 1600
  20. Lomo CN800
  21. Cinestill 800T

 

Anyway, here are the photos! These are the ones I’ve shot with the Canon FTb. Love that cam, to be honest. Had to sell it cos I’m indecisive as fuck.

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On Which A Dream Was Fulfilled

On Which A Dream Was Fulfilled

One of my dreams in life is to be have an article I wrote be published on a major national website. It finally happened.

On February 19, 2016, I covered the Dama 3D Danao Dancel Dumas Anniversary Concert for When In Manila.

Here’s what went down:

It all started with three guys and their acoustic guitars banding together to pool their collective stories into one epic tale. Like the bards of old who wove their experiences and anguish into works of art, Johnoy Danao, Ebe Dancel, and Bullet Dumas has done the same in modern times. And it is all for the love of their craft. Pure unadulterated love. Of all the instruments made by man, there’s no instrument more primal and simpler than the acoustic guitar. In its own, it’s a tool to deliver the user’s emotional quandaries. Married with the unmistakable voices and exceptional lyrics of Danao, Dancel, and Dumas, it becomes magic. It becomes an experience.

 

You can read (and view the photos) here:

http://www.wheninmanila.com/dama-3d-danao-dancel-dumas-first-anniversary-concert-night-of-confessions/

Of Wander & Frenzy

I woke up today to a message that I never expected. I had hoped to receive that message. I had wished. It was wishful thinking. I never thought I was worthy of the message. I never thought I was good enough – talented enough – already to be given the task that the message contained.

There were two messages, actually.

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What Should Have Been

I was at my usual haunt – Starbucks BF Aguirre – Monday evening to write an overview for Infinity Blues Photography. I wrote the fees I charge, how I do things, etc. The basics. As I was writing and writing, it suddenly hit me that what I was writing was the Terms & Conditions of my freelance work. It was the contract – the agreement – between Infinity Blues Photography, yours truly, and the client.

It surprised me as I’ve never done anything like that. Business and I don’t gel. I’ll admit, it did seem pretty easy to write. To me, anyway. I’m sure that not all of what I wrote belongs to an actual Terms & Conditions, but hey, not bad for a first timer.

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The Title

The Title

One of the fondest memories I have of my youth was being a plus one to my father’s meetings. He’d bring me along so I can learn about the family business. Not that I ever learned anything. Much. What little I learned was more on how people dealt with people – how people connected and communicated with each other.

Business isn’t my forte, being the artist in the family. It never was, really. I understood what I needed to understand. Not what the family needed me to understand. But what makes those business meetings memorable to me was every time one of the people my dad meets with hands me their business card.

It seems odd to hand an eleven year old a business card. Then again, if the children will someday be handed the reigns of the family business, I suppose it’s good strategy in the event that the business deal would prove fruitful down the line.

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Dama = Feel

Dama = Feel

I’ve mentioned before that my musical inclinations have, in recent years, leaned towards the stripped down, bare bones side of things. That simplicity and unfussiness of music has appealed to me due to, well, I wouldn’t say my age, but due to my bias for introspection and quiet. Simply put, I prefer acoustic singer-songwriter music on most days.

That’s why I’m a huge follower of the artists in the “3D: Danao Dancel Dumas” collective. Individually, the trio – Johnoy Danao, Ebe Dancel, and Bullet Dumas – does not need an introduction. All three have made names for themselves in local music history. All three have been success stories in OPM. All three are influential to the current and upcoming crop of guitar-wielding, whiskey swigging, lovelorn troubadours. And as a collective, as “3D,” the supergroup has definitely made an impact.

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On Being An Aged Rookie Photographer

IMG_0596
Rizza Cabrera

*Pictured above and below are the first and latest music photos I’ve shot

There was a time when I felt so insecure, so jealous, of the young photographer friends I’ve made last year. The Karen dela Fuentes. The Caloy Enclunas. The Gab Pilis. The Simon Vigans. And the dozens of young amazing photographers who’ll only be even more amazing as they grow older.

I’m 31. I have only a year on my belt. And no, I’m not counting my semi-regular three year stint as a music photographer years ago. I barely made any strides in those days. I’m just now retaking my life from depression. I’m just getting my life on the right track. And I thought that my age would be a hindrance, a massive stutter on my career as a photographer.

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Fire In The Hole

Fire In The Hole

This is bad. This is really bad.

I had no intention of doing anything else other than the one on my calendar. I only had one agenda yesterday: to have coffee with Bel Certeza. Money is pretty tight. Refer to the previous post as to the reason for my economic woes. But an hour or so before I left the house, I contacted a friend of mine from college. Her boyfriend’s band, Brisom, was going to play at Saguijo. I asked her if I can be added on the band’s guestlist.

Now, I’m not a cheapskate. I know how important door charge is to the bands that play a venue. If I have extra cash, I’d pay the door charge. But I do not. I told Marsha, the aforementioned college friend, that I’d take photos of Brisom in return. I didn’t get to. No, that’s not why things are bad. I’m getting ahead of myself. Let me start at the beginning.

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Faces of The Century

Faces of The Century

I’ll say it right off the bat: prior to seeing the A Space’s e-poster for the Faces of The Century photo exhibit, I didn’t know who Luc Fournol was. But I wanted to go anyway because A. I’m a Alfred Hitchcock fan and one of his portraits was the photo used on the e-poster, and B. I felt like I should go to exhibits, being a photographer and all.

With that said, I missed the first time Luc Fournol’s photos, part of a private collection by Cyril Clement, were shown to the public back in November. It was APEC week and the main artery leading to Makati was closed. Thankfully, A Space did another round. I wasn’t gonna miss it this time.

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